Animal Cruelty Fuelled by The Tourist Industry...

For a close friend's family, it's a yearly tradition to fly over to Bali for a few weeks in Summer... They love it over there because they get to be "up close" with animals we don't have over here in Australia... Elephants and monkeys, mainly...
I understand that, wanting to be able to touch one, feed one, get a photo taken with one... But when the baby elephant is on a chain, giving children rides on its back... Or when the little monkey has its fur styled and is dressed in a tuxedo...

Does no-one think where these animals go when the tourists go home, or how they're treated? Everyone wants to buy into the market so that they can touch these animals, but are they consciously turning a blind eye to the abuse these animals face when they're not on display for everyone to see? I'm sure that monkey doesn't especially like wearing clothes, and I'm sure the baby elephant doesn't especially like having 2-5 children on its back at a time.

I'm not sure if there are people you can report these "businesses" to, but if there are, why aren't these places shut down already? Is the government turning a blind eye too?

Sometimes it seems like I'm the only person who sees anything wrong with a little monkey dressed in a tuxedo...

What do you think?

Some changes...

Things are changing around here... And lately, those changes are negatively effecting my schedules. For the first time in 5 or so months, I don't feel like journalling, and I don't feel like exercising, and I don't feel like doing anything except sleeping, or maybe watching TV... I feel tired all the time, and my energy levels are really low, despite my scheduled healthy diet. I've cut back on sugars quite a bit, and upped my water intake to 2 Litres per day... 3 Litres on workout days. But I got sick a few weeks ago, and then suddenly got significantly better... So I didn't end up booking that doctor's appointment... Maybe I should have. Maybe the illness is back, and it's attacking me in some other way this time. Whatever this is, I don't like it, and I would very much like to get back to my health schedule and feel great again.

In the last 2 months, I've been working my ass off... Literally... And because I journal every day, it's easy for me to track my progress and stay motivated. I don't have scales, so I can't weigh myself, but I have definition where I've never had definition before, and my waist, thighs and arms are considerably thinner than they were before I started. Almost halved. My health goals are still far to go, but I feel like lately I've been going backwards...because of this no-energy-let-me-sleep feeling...

I'm booking an appointment for next week... I'm going to get a general check-up done... Blood tests, etc... I just want to make sure that whatever this is isn't going to kill me... Because, honestly... I feel like it probably could. That's how actually shit I'm feeling at the moment. (Excuse my colourful language)

Back on the topic of journalling... (And yes, I will be doing lots of posts on my journals soon, when I get my shit together... because my camera broke, and now all I have to use is an old scanner... Grr...) I've just finished my second journal, and started my third...
I like to do daily updates on my life in my journals... Goals, to-do lists, what I saw, where I went... That kind of thing... But lately, I've been feeling like maybe it's not enough for me anymore... I'm toying with the idea of starting an art journal. I think it could be interesting.

For now, though... I will continue with my daily journalling, and hopefully meditation and some light exercise will make me feel a bit better... (I want to blog more often. I really, really do. I have some great blog post ideas written down. I just want to focus on getting better first.)

I hope your 2015 has been great so far, lovelies. Until this week, mine has been fantastic. Wishing you all the best for February, and I hope my illness doesn't spread to you through cyberspace... xo

Give Your Dream Wings with Andrea Schroeder - My experience thus far...

I was blog-hopping recently, and came across Andrea Schroeder's blog... I was having a quick read, and a window popped up asking me if I wanted to sign up for a class of some sort... I admit, I was skim reading, and popped my e-mail in the box, and went back to whatever I was doing beforehand. But then I started getting some e-mails about very interesting things, all from Andrea... She was sending me links to each individual class, once per day... After a few days of just looking around, I decided to give one of the classes a try... It was interesting... Different. Nothing like anything I'd stumbled upon before, so I stuck with it... I've completed the third class tonight, as I take a few days in between to reflect upon what I've discovered... And I've decided that I really enjoy her lessons. Her videos remind me of guided meditation, and I guess that's essentially what they are. Guided meditation with the intention of unlocking your creative and spiritual potential. Phew! Try saying that three times fast. Thanks, Andrea. You're quite a treasure.

Tonight, it was all about discovering your dream and becoming comfortable about it. Or, that's the feeling I got. Maybe that's not what it was about, but that's where the lesson took me. I really liked the "shut your eyes and do what I say as I guide you through your imagination" kind of stuff. It's relaxing, and inspirational at the same time.

Once I complete the Give Your Dream Wings lessons, I'll put up a few scans of my GYDW journal pages and write a bit more about it. But for now, I'm off to ponder the giant lotus.

It's officially over...

Today's the day, ladies and gentlemen... I have long awaited this moment, and have known it was coming for some time... Today I wrote the last entry, on the last page in my very first journal. It's such a surreal moment... When you take a step back, and look at just how far you've come in such a short time... And realise that this chapter is over. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad. No, I have nothing to be sad about in this moment. This is a very good thing. I can start the next chapter, the next journal... I can continue growing, and I can continue documenting it in a new journal, for the new me. I am happy, but I feel numb. This is a very calm numbness, a very content sense of nothing. It feels almost like I'm floating, in my mind. This is it. I am, literally, closing the book.

I will take tonight to get to know my new journal. It is very slim at the moment, as was the one I've just finished, before I filled it with my mental ramblings. Now, the finished journal is at least double its original size, as I hope my new one will end up once it is finished. There is something so satisfying about filling, growing and holding a very fat, very full journal.

I don't have much more to add, as I just wanted to document the completion of my 4 month journey of self-discovery.

Journal on, readers. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

2014 Gratitude

First of all...

M E R R Y    C H R I S T M A S

In Australia, it's a beautiful sunny Christmas Eve...

Lots of tourists are around and have taken up the entire foreshore with their tents and

camper vans... I took a stroll through there, and it's all beautiful like a little makeshift village.
Next Summer, I hope to camp there too... Imagine the friends you'd make!

People from all different countries are gathered down there to spend the Summer and

Christmas together... I wonder what tonight will be like in the tent village...
I'm imagining fairy lights, and people gathered around to sing together to welcome Christmas, with the sound of the waves from the beach lulling everyone to sleep... Ah, Christmas... How lovely.

To celebrate this lovely season, I've decided to share part of my Gratitude List with the world.

This year has been... tough, to say the least. With school being a disaster, and more than enough drama for a decade, let alone a year, my mental and emotional state has been pretty up and down...
Thanks to a wonderful woman named Alex, who I've mentioned before, I discovered journalling.

Since I started journalling, anxiety has been much less of a "thing", and my outlook on life has been much more positive. So I'm grateful for Alex. And you can find her here.

In 2014 I am grateful for:

~ Alex from Barcelona. You have inspired me on many occasions, and continue to do so. You have changed my life with your wisdom, and your gentle kindness. Thank you so much for everything.

~ Marcus. You're always there. Literally, always. It feels like we're in a skype call 24/7. This year you've shared my workload, and we've managed two, no... three, massive projects together all while maintaining our ongoing friendship. You've supported me even in my darkest times, and you've held me up to make sure I don't drown in the negativity. You've been my greatest friend. I hope we can keep this friendship going for a long, long time. Maybe even until you smell like a wet dog. I hope you don't ever smell like a wet dog.

~ Zoe. Every time I talk to you, you make me feel so much better about everything. Thank you.

~ Tom P. You're a jerk, but you're hilarious, so that's okay. Thanks for sticking around.

~ Mark. I don't know if we're friends any more, but for the times we had, I'm so grateful. You helped me to see that not every bad thing was a "bad" thing. Thank you for being there, when you were.

~ Ethan. You've literally held our project up by yourself. Without you, it would be long dead. I'm so glad you came along, and not just because you saved it... but because we've grown together and formed one of the best friendships I've ever been a part of. Thank you for being patient with me, even when I'm being lazy.

~ The Server Community. Even the bad eggs.

~ Summer. Oh, Summer. I've never adored you the way I do right now. I'm so blessed to live by the sea.

~ My journal... Thanks again to Alex. The best commitment I've made for myself.

~ Spending time with the relatives. I'm still getting to know a lot of you, but I love every minute we get to spend together. I look forward to making many more memories as we get to be more comfortable around one another.

~ This blog. I have a constant nagging in the back of my mind when it feels like I haven't posted anything on here for a while... and until I do post something, the nagging feeling gets stronger every day. Being able to write about things I care about, and share my writing and opinions with the world is such a wonderful opportunity. I'm so glad I finally committed to this blog, unlike the hundred others I've started and never actually continued...

I could go on with this list forever, but it would take up a dozen or so pages, and I doubt anyone would want to read all of that. For the rest of my gratitude list, the few remaining pages in my journal will have to do. 

In just a few months, I've filled over 350 pages of my journal with my mental rambling, my emotional unloading, my inspirational findings, and many, many gratitude pieces. Unloading with a pen and paper has made my day-to-day life so much easier... If you haven't already, I strongly recommend anyone to pick up a pen and start writing. I'm still discovering the benefits of keeping a journal, and it's been months. But I can honestly say, with my depression, and my anxiety, no medication has ever made me feel as good as being able to unload to a non-judgemental, private, faithful book companion.

I'm going to cut it short and end my post here... I had two other topics that I wanted to cover, but I think this post is pretty lengthy as is. I'll add a few more things to my "to-blog" list, and hopefully will have a new post out for the new year. Thank you to everyone who views this, or will view this in the future. I hope I can inspire some of you, or help you to become inspired, as a lot of people have inspired me in the last few months.

To everyone mentioned above, and everyone who is not mentioned above, I hope your holiday season is a safe and happy one. Lots of love, from Australia. xo

Confronting fishing.

This week started off on a relatively positive, creative, inspirational note... A close family friend is having a wedding (vow renewal... what's the difference, right?) on the weekend, and everyone's pitching in to help... So I've been conspiring with Mum. Very fun, very messy, very busy. Brilliant.

...But then we go to the beach this evening... It's Summer in Australia, so it's still light out and warm at about 6-7pm... We drive a few towns over, still on the peninsula, and stop at a beautiful beach with a very old, very long pier. We walk up and down on the sand, decide that it's a bit too cold for a swim, and decide to check out the pier instead... 

There's lots of people at the end, and there's a bench seat there, so we figure it might be worth taking a look at what all the fuss is about. What seems like a ten kilometre walk on a rickety old planks-and-nails pier lands us in amongst fishermen, and fisherwomen, huddled around in their puffy waterproof jackets... They're speaking Italian, which we know very little of, but they're saying "calamari" and a couple of other words to their friends in English. One of the ladies taps me on the shoulder and says, "Pardon me, please. No want to hook you in your face." ...My thoughts transition to a scene from a movie - a man getting a right hook to the face from a large drunk man in a dirty white singlet... Probably not what she's referring to... Mum and I move a couple of metres back, and as the lady is winding and winding her fishing line in, this squid seemingly flies up onto the pier... Tiny little thing... It's making sucking sounds, like it's sneezing. It IS sneezing...kind of. It's trying to spit ink at the lady. The squid is so freaking small, but she says it doesn't matter, "Still good. Not matter. Small okay."... Size doesn't matter to this woman. I guess that's a plus... But she's unhooked the squid, and just left it to spit all over itself on the plank next to her while she tries to reel in another one. It might not seem sad to you, but watching the tiny squid trying to defend itself against a plank and a large Italian woman was just heartbreaking... Ink can't save you now, little squid... I almost thought it'd be kinder for the woman to start cleaning it and preparing it then and there...
I've taken some photos, of the squid, the Italian lady, the group huddled around a bucket of fish, and the sunset... So we start walking back... But as we're nearing the end of the pier, Mum kind of half-jumps back and grabs my shoulder... There's a completely mutilated stingray just floating in the water... Guts are kind of just hanging out of it, floating next to it, and the sides of its body have been hacked off, as well as its tail... I thought it was a dead shark, that's how much of its body had been removed...

I'm a very proud nature lover, so when I saw the squid trying to ink itself to safety, and the remains of the stingray, I just felt disappointed, and disgusted. As humans, haven't we mutually decided on ways of going about things such as hunting? As humans, haven't we mutually decided that the best way to hunt is to put the animal out of its misery as fast as possible? Why do we not do this? And why do we continue to mutilate, to destroy, and to torture our precious wildlife?... Just because it's there, and it's edible, doesn't mean we have the natural right to just do whatever we like to it before we eat it. It's cruel, and in the age of technology and information, I feel that we should have grown out of this caveman phase. I'm not against catching and eating your own food - it's probably healthier and better for you in the long run... But I believe there comes a point where you should slow down, be gentle, and be grateful for what you have... Don't just take everything because you can. Don't just kill everything because you can. Don't just do whatever you want because you can. There's still right and wrong, even in nature. And I think as modern humans, we're still not entirely in touch with that. ...And that makes me very sad.

November is almost over...

It's been too long, my friend... Where has the time gone?

...I was so looking forward to spending my November days on the beach, splashing in the waves and taking countless photos of the cliffs and the cheeky seagulls...

The days I planned were pushed further and further back, and I have become less and less relaxed. That isn't to say that I haven't enjoyed it. I've enjoyed it immensely. Not having to stress over when an assignment is due, or whether I've replied to an important e-mail, or even restarted the server today... I love this new found freedom. But I've overdone it! I've been too excited, spent too many nights reading, or writing, or drawing... December will be better...
Or maybe it won't... I keep forgetting we threw Christmas in there somewhere. What a grand idea that was. The masses of noisy tourists, and the parties, and the drunk drag racing up and down the roads around us make me dread Christmas more than a trip to the dentist. I love spending time with family, but when it's hot (as it usually is around Christmas in Australia) I'd like to go for a swim without having to worry about dogs not being on their leads, or people leaving their broken beer bottles on the sand for some unsuspecting person, such as myself, to stumble upon.
This isn't a rant... Or maybe it is... But it doesn't feel like one... This is just me expressing my frustrations about Christmas... Okay, maybe it actually is definitely a rant. But I come in peace.

...And that's what it all comes back to. I am striving for peace. Peace in my mind, in my body... I don't want to be frustrated by these silly things. I want to get out, take photos, splash in the sparkling waters before the tourists arrive for the Summer... I want to enjoy my new found freedom, and enjoy it the way I hoped I would enjoy it. Immensely. So that's what I'm going to do. ...Oh, and I'm going to update my blog more frequently, too... Hehe.

Well, that's it for today, my friend. Thank you for understanding my frustration, and allowing me to express it even if that's not what my blog is generally for.

Thank you for taking the time to stop by, and I hope to see you again soon. Maybe next time over fruit cake, and a lovely cup of spiced tea...

Until then... Lots of love, from this beautiful place...