2014 Gratitude

First of all...

M E R R Y    C H R I S T M A S

In Australia, it's a beautiful sunny Christmas Eve...

Lots of tourists are around and have taken up the entire foreshore with their tents and

camper vans... I took a stroll through there, and it's all beautiful like a little makeshift village.
Next Summer, I hope to camp there too... Imagine the friends you'd make!

People from all different countries are gathered down there to spend the Summer and

Christmas together... I wonder what tonight will be like in the tent village...
I'm imagining fairy lights, and people gathered around to sing together to welcome Christmas, with the sound of the waves from the beach lulling everyone to sleep... Ah, Christmas... How lovely.

To celebrate this lovely season, I've decided to share part of my Gratitude List with the world.

This year has been... tough, to say the least. With school being a disaster, and more than enough drama for a decade, let alone a year, my mental and emotional state has been pretty up and down...
Thanks to a wonderful woman named Alex, who I've mentioned before, I discovered journalling.

Since I started journalling, anxiety has been much less of a "thing", and my outlook on life has been much more positive. So I'm grateful for Alex. And you can find her here.

In 2014 I am grateful for:

~ Alex from Barcelona. You have inspired me on many occasions, and continue to do so. You have changed my life with your wisdom, and your gentle kindness. Thank you so much for everything.

~ Marcus. You're always there. Literally, always. It feels like we're in a skype call 24/7. This year you've shared my workload, and we've managed two, no... three, massive projects together all while maintaining our ongoing friendship. You've supported me even in my darkest times, and you've held me up to make sure I don't drown in the negativity. You've been my greatest friend. I hope we can keep this friendship going for a long, long time. Maybe even until you smell like a wet dog. I hope you don't ever smell like a wet dog.

~ Zoe. Every time I talk to you, you make me feel so much better about everything. Thank you.

~ Tom P. You're a jerk, but you're hilarious, so that's okay. Thanks for sticking around.

~ Mark. I don't know if we're friends any more, but for the times we had, I'm so grateful. You helped me to see that not every bad thing was a "bad" thing. Thank you for being there, when you were.

~ Ethan. You've literally held our project up by yourself. Without you, it would be long dead. I'm so glad you came along, and not just because you saved it... but because we've grown together and formed one of the best friendships I've ever been a part of. Thank you for being patient with me, even when I'm being lazy.

~ The Server Community. Even the bad eggs.

~ Summer. Oh, Summer. I've never adored you the way I do right now. I'm so blessed to live by the sea.

~ My journal... Thanks again to Alex. The best commitment I've made for myself.

~ Spending time with the relatives. I'm still getting to know a lot of you, but I love every minute we get to spend together. I look forward to making many more memories as we get to be more comfortable around one another.

~ This blog. I have a constant nagging in the back of my mind when it feels like I haven't posted anything on here for a while... and until I do post something, the nagging feeling gets stronger every day. Being able to write about things I care about, and share my writing and opinions with the world is such a wonderful opportunity. I'm so glad I finally committed to this blog, unlike the hundred others I've started and never actually continued...

I could go on with this list forever, but it would take up a dozen or so pages, and I doubt anyone would want to read all of that. For the rest of my gratitude list, the few remaining pages in my journal will have to do. 

In just a few months, I've filled over 350 pages of my journal with my mental rambling, my emotional unloading, my inspirational findings, and many, many gratitude pieces. Unloading with a pen and paper has made my day-to-day life so much easier... If you haven't already, I strongly recommend anyone to pick up a pen and start writing. I'm still discovering the benefits of keeping a journal, and it's been months. But I can honestly say, with my depression, and my anxiety, no medication has ever made me feel as good as being able to unload to a non-judgemental, private, faithful book companion.

I'm going to cut it short and end my post here... I had two other topics that I wanted to cover, but I think this post is pretty lengthy as is. I'll add a few more things to my "to-blog" list, and hopefully will have a new post out for the new year. Thank you to everyone who views this, or will view this in the future. I hope I can inspire some of you, or help you to become inspired, as a lot of people have inspired me in the last few months.

To everyone mentioned above, and everyone who is not mentioned above, I hope your holiday season is a safe and happy one. Lots of love, from Australia. xo

Confronting fishing.

This week started off on a relatively positive, creative, inspirational note... A close family friend is having a wedding (vow renewal... what's the difference, right?) on the weekend, and everyone's pitching in to help... So I've been conspiring with Mum. Very fun, very messy, very busy. Brilliant.

...But then we go to the beach this evening... It's Summer in Australia, so it's still light out and warm at about 6-7pm... We drive a few towns over, still on the peninsula, and stop at a beautiful beach with a very old, very long pier. We walk up and down on the sand, decide that it's a bit too cold for a swim, and decide to check out the pier instead... 

There's lots of people at the end, and there's a bench seat there, so we figure it might be worth taking a look at what all the fuss is about. What seems like a ten kilometre walk on a rickety old planks-and-nails pier lands us in amongst fishermen, and fisherwomen, huddled around in their puffy waterproof jackets... They're speaking Italian, which we know very little of, but they're saying "calamari" and a couple of other words to their friends in English. One of the ladies taps me on the shoulder and says, "Pardon me, please. No want to hook you in your face." ...My thoughts transition to a scene from a movie - a man getting a right hook to the face from a large drunk man in a dirty white singlet... Probably not what she's referring to... Mum and I move a couple of metres back, and as the lady is winding and winding her fishing line in, this squid seemingly flies up onto the pier... Tiny little thing... It's making sucking sounds, like it's sneezing. It IS sneezing...kind of. It's trying to spit ink at the lady. The squid is so freaking small, but she says it doesn't matter, "Still good. Not matter. Small okay."... Size doesn't matter to this woman. I guess that's a plus... But she's unhooked the squid, and just left it to spit all over itself on the plank next to her while she tries to reel in another one. It might not seem sad to you, but watching the tiny squid trying to defend itself against a plank and a large Italian woman was just heartbreaking... Ink can't save you now, little squid... I almost thought it'd be kinder for the woman to start cleaning it and preparing it then and there...
I've taken some photos, of the squid, the Italian lady, the group huddled around a bucket of fish, and the sunset... So we start walking back... But as we're nearing the end of the pier, Mum kind of half-jumps back and grabs my shoulder... There's a completely mutilated stingray just floating in the water... Guts are kind of just hanging out of it, floating next to it, and the sides of its body have been hacked off, as well as its tail... I thought it was a dead shark, that's how much of its body had been removed...

I'm a very proud nature lover, so when I saw the squid trying to ink itself to safety, and the remains of the stingray, I just felt disappointed, and disgusted. As humans, haven't we mutually decided on ways of going about things such as hunting? As humans, haven't we mutually decided that the best way to hunt is to put the animal out of its misery as fast as possible? Why do we not do this? And why do we continue to mutilate, to destroy, and to torture our precious wildlife?... Just because it's there, and it's edible, doesn't mean we have the natural right to just do whatever we like to it before we eat it. It's cruel, and in the age of technology and information, I feel that we should have grown out of this caveman phase. I'm not against catching and eating your own food - it's probably healthier and better for you in the long run... But I believe there comes a point where you should slow down, be gentle, and be grateful for what you have... Don't just take everything because you can. Don't just kill everything because you can. Don't just do whatever you want because you can. There's still right and wrong, even in nature. And I think as modern humans, we're still not entirely in touch with that. ...And that makes me very sad.